No sunlight.

You remember when you were kids and you were completely oblivious to everything.
You had friends that were boys.
you would fall off the swings and your knee would bleed and mum ould go get you a bandaid and kiss it better and everything was okay.
We believed we were safe. As long as we had that hug from mum of dad that made everything better.
They arent always going to be there to give you that, but other people might.
brothers and sisters and boyfriends and girlfriends.
we dont believe in santa, or the easter bunny but we still believe we are safe. the most common misconception in the world.
We are not safe.
Not with what the world has come to.
Ever feel like the sunlight has drained from your life.
Like when you see a funeral scene in a movie, its always dark and dreary, and sad.
And in the winter, sometimes you just feel dull and flat for no reason at all.
sometimes, people feel like this alot.
People who suffer from depression.
Like myself.
But im trying.
I've stopped taking my pills, i dont want to have to rely on them for the rest of my life.
I've stopped endulging in inpure thoughts of different ways of killing myself.

but you know what things get better.
You find people, and sometimes, people find you.
people who make you happy.
and yeah no body is perfect. these people are going to make you annoyed, and angry and pissed off sometimes, but no matter what, they will always be there, because you mean something to them.
And whenever im sad and think im worthless and shouldnt be alive, i think, hey, i was the quickest sperm. i deserve life.
But its what i make of it that counts.

When I was young
Lying in the grass
I felt so safe
In a warming bath
Of sunlight
Of sunlight

Vast open sky
Could do no harm
Like an embrace
From mother's arms
In sunlight

With every year
That came to pass
More clouds appeared
'til the sky went black
And there was no sunlight
Anymore

It disappeared at the same speed
As the idealistic things I believed
The optimist died inside of me

things get better clare.
Promise.